I'M NOT HURT

“What is it about this life that doesn’t make sense?

All of it?

We move through emotions in a way that just doesn’t make sense.

Why do we go from feeling like we can fly in one moment, to painful aches of loneliness?

But no, I’m not sad.

I’m not scared.

I’m not tired.

I’m not hurt.

I’m just existing in this moment.

This fleeting moment.

And maybe this is the true beauty in the non-sense life we live in…is that it is fleeting.

So I will not continue to feel like this forever.

I will go back to putting on a smile, living in the moment, pushing through the pain. Until I find myself crawled up in a ball again.

But wait, no one wants to see that.

That will be left unsaid.

Is this what I want though? To paint a one sided picture? My story wouldn’t be complete if it wasn’t for enduring all the dark times and scary places in my head.

So I’ll leave it here on paper instead.

To hopefully make room in my head for emotions and thoughts that are encouraging and bold, maybe even bright.

I want to be in that light.

The bright light where I feel and flow in the best version of myself.

But what if I can’t be that version without this one?

Like it’s all a piece of the same puzzle.

It would be incomplete without the dark shades. Balance in light and darkness.

A true composition needs both.

Am I just one big art piece with all the layers?

The textures, the flow, the search for light in the darkness.

What happens when the pieces of the puzzle are all put together?

Is that the end? or the beginning?”